i don't know what to do anymore ( Poet )

the world i got into, was a struggling jungle, so grab you're stuff and run!
life in here never leaves, is like a drum, up and down, down till it's undone.
it was once life, when the dark side took the power to take the faith away.
when the light was my guide, into a normal life, away from the criminal life.
so i was trying to keep my feet on the ground, and every time, i failed.
now i believe, that there is no hope for a normal life.
i made it this far, but im tired, i don't what to do anymore.
i made a few new friends, and more that a few scars.
there is not many left for me, to do anymore, the question is.
who i am, and what do i fight for anyway?.
some of us are secret soldiers, who wanted a new start.
allfather, Odin, plz help me take my aim, to get a new life.
but it was not that easy, i was shot with the mind like a gun more that a few.
between being a Heathen, and a hunter of the Ulfhednir, i was strong.
i hunted my targets, never question it, but sometimes i did have my thoughs.
you don't know who you are, until life come to shove!
and when life take whats we love, you will harden you're heart.
otherwise, you will break!
worlds of jungles make my faith, until once day i can come out!.
so grab you're weapon, and prepare for the never ending war!.
once's life for me get's nice, girlfriend, friends and all.
stable family, who can efford to live on!
then life takes it all away once's again!.
then i have to go to the street, to fight on, to be allowed to live another day!.
i don't know what to do anymore..